Career Choices

  

 

The handicapped feeling of having to choose only one option form the hundreds available is what I define as this process of choosing a career. To be very honest it is a process of rejection rather than a process of selection because you do not select one option rather you reject all the other ones. But in India it gets even worst since choosing a career here is altogether a different story.

All our life decisions we make as Indians are all sadly dependent on the society by one way or the other. Factors like family pressure, orthodoxism, backwardness in thinking process all contribute to choosing careers having no relation to personal interest. And you know what disgusts me the most is that back here in India we have one more factor which is worst of them all - Gender. Being a girl in India also restricts your career choices other than the various injustice that already persist. It makes me pretty frustrated to hear that there are still many parts in India where being a girl cuts off more than half of your total career choices. This is how ridiculously orthodox and backward we Indians can get. No wonder we still are in the category of developing countries.

Coming back to the topic when I had to choose a career luckily I had choices in hand, how much ever limited but I did. As a 15 year old technically choices like RJs and DJs were more fascinating as career choices but then reality hit us hard and it was down to some orthodox choices for most of us. These choices that they show us during that time of choosing a career is just to show us that if you were born in some other foreign country maybe you could have thought of becoming all of that but then congratulations you're a Indian and we have restricted career options. Choose arts become a lawyer, chose commerce become a CA and choose science become a doctor or engineer was all I was given to choose from and lets be honest this applies to most of us. All said and done the career choice for me is done, sadly enough but yes its done and now I have a negligible chances to make a change since here in India it takes real guts to do that. Not because one is afraid to change but one is more concerned about society thinking of that person to be a loser that he was not able to do something he chose earlier. This is called the "log kya kahege" concept in India wherein you care more about society's thoughts on something than your own ones. Incredible India!

The part that makes me sad about this process is that it very rarely gives you satisfaction in the end. Its either frustration of choosing the wrong thing or the faith that the chosen thing gets them to the right destination. Many of us set up arbitrary targets in our heads such that in the next five to ten years where we picture ourselves. That rather is your destination but what about the path you chose. Setting up targets is cool but such distant targets that takes years to achieve is something I never do. I prefer smaller and more realistic targets everyday which I'm  sure that if I put in adequate efforts I can achieve. I have something in mind that is my distant target and in order to achieve a distant target one need to progress everyday a little. Merely thinking about the goals won't make them achievable. I've chosen a career in engineering for instance but my more preferred career option is something else. I do not go about telling everyone about it but only my close friends. Telling your close people about your distant goals helps a lot since they help you out at times to boost your morale and self belief pushing you towards your distant goal a step at a time and simultaneously take care of that your current condition does not worsen while the distant goals are being achieved.

So in hopes that someday this backwardness in society leaves my beautiful country and people put a foot forward and embrace unorthodox career options I'd like to move ahead and make sure we all make up careers less influenced by society but more by our personal interests so that we love what we do and do what we love. :D

Expectations

The strong belief or feeling that something will happen is what we all define expectations as. Expectations may sometimes lead you to disappointments, but the anger of getting disappointments may sometimes lead you to what you expected.

As soon as this word comes up, for most of us it is accompanied by disappointments. Expectations do hurt when not met but the joy and satisfaction that one experiences when they are met is worth every bit of the risk to expect. So making sure the person you expect from does not merely let you down but makes an effort towards meeting those expectations how much ever tough they be is really important if disappointments are to be averted. People who actually care will always make an effort to meet your expectations no matter what and the ones who don't are the ones you need to hold the door open for, so that they can just leave you alone and not ruin your life that would be much better without them. That's the difference between the people who actually care while the others who are just curious. Makes me sick sometimes how people call someone their "friends" when the only thing they actually do is making you feel more and more helpless by breaking all your expectations one by one ruthlessly. 

So they say 'just don't expect anything from anyone and stay happy'. We all know this ain't that easy because as humans we all do have some basic expectations from others, no matter how much ever we try we do expect the people we trust to retaliate the trust and effort we put into them. For me expectations are really important. When I know someone expects something from me it makes me feel special and confident that I'm the one they can risk to put their trust in, which makes me work towards fulfilling their expectations. I also do expect a lot of stuff from people but I make sure of one thing, the person is worth the disappointment if just in case he or she is not able to live up to the expectations. 

Expression of any kind of expectations you have from anyone is also really important. You cannot expect someone to understand what you are expecting of them without telling them. How much ever obvious it be, until you tell that person about what you want, expecting him or her to understand is not the right thing to do. Express your feeling once and then what happens is something you can judge someone on, not without him or her even knowing about it. 

There will be more times when your expectations are not met by even the trustworthy of yours. Does that mean they are no more your trustworthy? What about all the times this one person has retaliated your trust but once he or she did not and you notice that to jump to conclusions without giving that person a chance to justify? That's not how it works folks. The people you put your trust in have a special bond that makes them obliged to be there for you when needed. If he or she fails to do that one time that does not mean you push that person away from your life. Understanding that person's reasons for him not to live up to your expectations is a really important. Believers of second chances do might get hurt once more but at least they tried to maintain the bond of trust which is most important because without trust this world would not be a place to live in. 

Something that I am concerned about is when people expect a lot from others and nothing from their own selves. I expect a lot from myself. I expect myself to become the ideal person in this world. I expect to make people happy and never disappoint them. I expect myself to make my parents more proud than they could ever expect. I expect me to live up to all my expectations and if I don't happen to do that I get upset on myself as well. If I cannot live up to my own expectations how do I expect others to. So yes do expect from others but also from yourself and be equally upset on yourself when you fail to meet your own expectations.

So let us all live up to all the expectations everyone holds for us and also our own ones. Expect the unexpected because life has funny ways to surprise you. ; )

Friendships

Eleven letters, one word, which gets back infinite wonderful memories. I fall short of words as I try to define this word because to be very honest it is not just a word its a whole new dimension in all of our lives. Its a feeling so deep that just thinking about this word gets back hundreds and thousands of thoughts to our mind and a huge smile on the face. But to my utter disgust and disbelief this word is being used very casually and meaninglessly in todays world. Sad to think about this but yes that is what I observe around me, nowadays people use this word very cheaply which was never meant to be so.

We've all made friends at all stages at life but how many of us have retaliated to the bonds of friendship that we once established. Making friends is no big deal in this world full of seven billion people but sticking to your friendship with that person during thick and thin actually makes you his or her friend. Sadly most of us fail to do this and the once so called friends become strangers as time gradually separates you mentally to such an extend that contact is lost eventually. 2000 Facebook friends, 1500 Instagram followers and a 1000 followers on Twitter but when in pain no one to talk to in real life. That's how bad this concept of "so called friends" is. I have been very particular in choosing my friends and that is the reason I never find myself alone how much ever bad the situation be. Having found two guys who always have been besides me since childhood whom I can rely on for anything and everything has been more than a blessing to me. We may not have chosen the same field in terms of career options and may be miles apart physically but the feeling that one conference call will get half our problems solved is really wonderful. We may not click pictures together when we meet, not be active on social media about this but stand for each other at all stages no matter what and that for me is the definition of friendship. Today I make sure that if I call someone my friend I live up to this word friendship. Having more people to be with and lesser ones to be open to is not what it is all about since the only thing it does is adds to falseness.

The choice of friends you make largely defines you as a person. Having a huge number of friends is never a concept of intelligence but having a few ones you can trust your life upon is. Luckily I've had the sense of recognising fake and unworthy people thereby staying away from them. Choosing wrong people to spend your life with can be really painful in most cases as these people add to your pain in life rather than decreasing it. Wrong company closes doors to the right paths in life and leads you where you never wanted to be. So choice of friends is really important especially in this selfish world of ours where most people are friends until certain work is to be done after which the friendship goes straight into the spam bin. How strange is it that people can make promises of a lifetime and forget it within weeks once they know you cannot help them anymore. Anyways I'll focus on what good a actual bond of friendship does in your life. A perfect friend can be like a support system for one. A consultant, advisor, listener, parent, critic, analyst, teacher, and many such more roles are played by him or her. Someone whom you'd not want to let go off at any cost.

To find someone who actually cares today, is a real big achievement because there are very few who care, others are just there out of curiosity. The only thing worse than falling alone, is having ten such "so called friends" around but still falling alone. So I end it here in hope that irrespective of whether everyone of us finds a life partner or not but surely does find at least one person who actually is a FRIEND :')

Hopes

"Hope is the feeling you have, that the feeling you have, isn't permanent."  

Read the previous line again and let these beautiful words sink into your heart. We as humans have forever been clinging to this word called hope. The word is pretty much meaningful in itself since we've all have our own set of definitions for it. For me hope is something that has always been there with me even when nothing else was.

We all have come across this phase in our lives where everything just seems to be shattering and tearing us apart. For the brink moment we just don't want to live anymore want that problem to just get over with our existence. It can be because of you facing setbacks with your job or relationships or maybe struggling financially or the pressures of life are just overwhelming you. Whatever be the reason the consequence is devastating and it is killing us from the inside. At this point in our lives nothing helps us more than the hope that everything that is happening at that moment is temporary and will pass by for better things to take its place. I faced such a situation after my 12th boards and JEE results came out. Needless to specify I had scored pretty unexpectedly bad in both the exams which were to decide the next four years of my life. During that week or so after the results I had just lost all hopes of living to be honest. Sleepless nights, depressing days and if ever i did fall asleep then sleeping with the thought that i never wake up again had all become a part of my life. The only thing left of me was the faint hope of everything eventually getting okay and then what followed was more than satisfying. Getting into a new college and making wonderful new friends who helped me get over that unforgettable phase of my life was no less than a miracle. Today I stand tall with that phase gone by all because I had faith and hopes for this to happen.

Talking about this side we cannot neglect the other side of the story as well. We have been clinging onto false hopes for a very long time. All of us have millions of false hopes that deep inside us that we all know will never be met but then whats the point of living life without hope. Without hopes humans lives are null and void. We need to cling on to hopes how much ever false they be because hopes give us the intend to work in life. We all keep hoping for so many things in one general day of ours. We all hope that our crushes start talking to us like we want them to and maybe someday land up together as a couple. We all hope to have a good day at work where everything goes according to plan and there is no mishaps. We all hope for the best during exam results how much ever bad the paper might have gone. We all hope that someday, from somewhere, something happens which makes our lives worth living. There are many more such hopes we live by but then these hopes add to expectations and eventually disappointment. Practically something like this to happen has a negligible probability unless and until we work towards the result we expect. Just blindly hoping for things to happen won't get them done. One need to work towards the hope he has in himself to make things happen the way he wants them to happen. The intend is really needed when it comes to hopes being fulfilled and that's what is missing in most of us here. This is the reason they say 'Work hard and hope for the best'.

So yes after showing the intend one can hope for good stuff to follow and certainly the hopes are met then. Let us all hope everything will fall in place and never give up. I'll add one more hope to the numerous ones I have by hoping that you my viewers liked this post and the other ones as well.

I've got a lot of positive feedback about this new blog that I've started and I'm very grateful to all my viewers for the support. I'll love to listen to you as my viewers if you'll have any suggestions concerning anything you feel about me and my posts. Drop your comments down and I'll make sure I work according to what my viewers want to read.

Decisions

We've all come across this word innumerous times in our lives be it anyone. Its such a common word we just cannot escape coming in front of. Grammatically this word is quite small but on the level of emotions, sentiments and life it hold huge importance for each and everyone of us. They say "You are who you decide to be". So technically we decide who we want to be and how true is that. Our decisions do decide who we are.

At early stages in our lives the incapability of decision making led other to make them for us. For instance choosing an appropriate school for us where our parents thought we will do well was never our decision. But then it was made for our well being and we have to accept it however bad the school we've been in. Then as years passed maturity started growing for "most" of us and the kid turned into a teen. Then comes the one big decision that for me is one of the freakiest decision one takes. The decision to chose a field after the 10th grade. This decision according to me is the one which decides your entire life upfront and unfortunately most of us chose wrongly here. And I don't blame anyone for the wrong decision because how can one expect a 15 year old to determine all of a sudden the entire life plan within days. Most of us are not even mature enough for this but the decision has to be taken. This decision which was supposed to be yours ends up being a mixture of many other determining factors. Marks, parents persuasion, forceful implementation, siblings choice and many more but in India it becomes worst because there is one factor above them all which is called "Sharmaji ke bete ne yeh liya". Indian parents always find this one person to compare our performance with and that person is always a step ahead of us. I just dont know why but most of our parents have this thing of comparing us to someone and somehow that other person always lands up doing better then us. At that time we as teens think a bit not much and just go with what seems the best option and trust it to work out. Time tells us if it does or not which is quite a 50/50 chance. If it works out well its good enough and we continue but if it doesn't boss we just have no options and we again continue. So basically it doesn't matter if it works out or not.

Then comes one more decision making time after the 12th boards about what field in the chosen subject do we pursue which in most cases is pretty evident after the results come out. Decisions need to be made between which colleges to join and that's where most of us again face this " Sharmaji ke bete ko itna aya" issue. But its all okay because eventually the decisions have to be made and they are made sometimes out of choice but most of the times out of helplessness. Most of us don't get colleges that we aim for and then have to settle for something we never considered fakingly hoping for it to work out just as well as the college we aimed for would have worked out. So now after getting into colleges one thinks he is free from this decision making concept but here is where it actually gets more intense.

The very first decision we made coming into college is choosing people to be with. We started knowing each other and making friends but then after some time the true realisation happens and formation of groups takes place on the basis of mutual interests. Now its your decision to be it that group or chose another one and eventually most of us land up good as per our considerations. Then we make a lot of decisions everyday as per whether to attend the morning lectures or bunk whether to study or just waste a day and many more. These decisions might seem very small ones considering the huge ones we've already made but believe me these are the ones that matter more than the huge ones. They are like the supporting cast behind any hit film without which the film wouldn't have been possible. These decisions will decide whether the huge ones we have made will work out or not and its important to chose the right ones here. For instance choosing the wrong people to hang around with can completely ruin your time at college irrespective of how much ever clever one be the people around him determine who that person is and that is a really important decision. Then attending college or not is one decision to caution about as most of us prefer bunking but then wait for a moment and think that will bunking lectures unnecessarily justify the decision of joining that particular college.

Some years down the line we all land up getting jobs and supporting our families and it will all be an outcome of the decisions we make today.So lets all just realise our responsibilities and make decisions as such that some months down the line we get prosperity and satisfaction rather than just regret. Let's hope all our decisions do work out as we want them to because remember - You are who you decide to be.

New beginnings!

 

Hello World!
Needless to specify the time at which i thought to start this blog page up. Yes the 3am thoughts is all about the emotions and sentiments a person goes through during that time of the night when his mind starts playing tricks with him.

The human mind is quite unconscious considering all the tricks it plays with us when it is supposed to go off to sleep and rest. We've all been through this situation where we can't sleep because the mind doesn't let us to and can't do anything else because its too late in the night. So the only thing that we can do is lay down in bed and let the mind play tantrum deep inside.

The restless mind takes this as an opportunity and plays tricks with us we never could have thought about in the long busy days of ours. These thoughts sometimes disturbing sometimes beautiful affect all our lives in some way or the other. Very few of us are lucky enough to be able to express these thoughts to someone but most of us like me have no option but to let the time pass and keep all of it inside us.

So here i take this opportunity and platform to express my 3am thoughts hoping that others also find similarities and start expressing theirs as well. Please read full stories as I promise it wont be a waste of time and effort by any means but it'll be an experience which i hope makes you feel good.

New start need not always lead you to where you planned it should have but it will for sure take you somewhere you find comfort. This is my new start and I hope it works out for everyone of us.